cheekyboots :: reset

This is the first blog I ever stuck with.

Which means it’s full of old posts. Almost 400 over six years.

And lately, it’s felt like I was carrying a big bag of junk around. I wanted to get rid of it.

So for the last few weeks it’s been shut down. I put up a nearly-blank theme with a link to Tao of Prosperity, which I recently redesigned.

And it felt great. Big weight, gone.

But then I kinda missed having a place to post random things. Things I like. Things I’m doing.

And I realized that it’s not so much that I want to ditch cheekyboots forever. It’s that I want to start over.

I’ve changed.

Six years is a very long time in Emma land. I am a different person than I was when I started this.

This blog is one way people can get to know me. And it felt like I was showing up to a first date with every old shirt I’ve ever owned. Eww.

So I want to rearrange how I show up. I want it to be accurate and feel good. I want to be able to move forward and not feel like I’m carrying ghosts around with me through cyberspace. I want to get current.

What I want to share has changed.

This blog has always been a mix of what I’m doing, and what I’m thinking and feeling. I’ve shared a lot of my personal process. Including a fair amount of depression, angst, what-does-it-all-mean stuff.

But over the years, I’ve found that my lines between public and private have shifted. I’ve developed boundaries (yay!).

I no longer want to process everything out loud, to anyone who might chance by on the interwebs. I don’t need to post my therapy notes on the internet. I’m in my thirties now for chrissake. =)

Actually it’s not about how old I am, or about oversharing. It’s about the container. As in, a blog is not a therapy room. It’s more like standing on an overpass shouting at the cars below about your mother. People see you, but it’s not their job to care. And you feel oddly exposed.

I’ve learned that you, my reader, are not my therapist, and I was getting uncomfortable treating you like one.

Plus, I got some really weird letters from readers sometimes.

So, I’ve gutted the place.

All my old posts taken down. New theme. New content, starting now.

If time and interest allows, I am going to go through my old posts and selectively display a few of them that I deem still useful or interesting.

In with the new.

Going forward, I hope to share shorter updates more frequently, more like a tumblelog (the new theme supports asides). A bit less philosophy. More art and creative projects.

Once this blog was a place that inspired me to share. I hope that with this fresh slate, it can be again.

And I’m sure it will evolve again. That’s what life seems to be about.

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