I’m baaaaack

OK, I think I’m back!

I’ve been on a writing hiatus for the past few months, but something got unstuck recently and I am feeling the juice again. I wrote on Joy Ninja yesterday and Tao of Prosperity today.

And lo, I feel a shift from how I would write before. The posts feel more naked and honest and I feel more unafraid now. Good-naked, not scary-naked. =)

I think I let go of some unconscious expectations over the past few months – I gave up on the blogs telling me what my purpose in life is. And that turned out to be a great shift, because now I feel a lot more free about writing. I’m writing cause I like to write – who cares what it means?

Which represents a huge shift – I used to place so much meaning on them. Being silent for so long, I had to deal with these big scary thoughts: “If I don’t blog, does that mean I’m no longer cool????“. And I got to the point where I didn’t care as much. So I’m not cool. Whatever.

Cool, wise, smart – it’s all the same thing. Wanting to be something, wanting my blogs to prove something. It puts so much pressure on writing. Really, an unbearable pressure. It just makes the whole thing fraught.

And really, it doesn’t have to be like that. Which comes as a great relief!

If you are wondering what I’ve been up to, I’ve mostly been hibernating. I took this relationship class this spring that dealt with a lot of childhood issues and it’s been a doozy. It was a lot just to process all the emotions and whatnot that went along with excavating all that. I am not sure I am going to blog about it in much detail, but I will say that it helped me start to heal some of the more fundamental and hard to name issues I have around people and self-worth. I am still in the process of sorting through it all.

I’ve also been doing a lot of sorting out and planning around some changes in my business, which are also not sorted through yet. Sorry to be vague, but you know how it is. All in good time.

And besides that, uh, Guitar Hero and Mercedes Lackey. Oh yeah. I wish I could say I was travelling in the Andes or something, but eh, I was mostly sitting on my couch. =)

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